Welcome Reader,

“Why do I keep thinking about my ex?”

It’s one of those thoughts that can catch you off guard.

Maybe it comes out of nowhere.
Maybe it shows up in a quiet moment.
Maybe it’s tied to a memory, a song, a place.

And sometimes it leaves you wondering…

Why now?

I’ve been sitting with that question myself lately.

There’s someone from my past — JT.

We dated briefly in high school. It wasn’t anything long-term or perfect. He cheated, we went our separate ways, and over time we found our way back to being friends.

But JT struggled.

He had multiple suicide attempts, and eventually, he passed away due to substance abuse.

And to make things even more layered… his mom, Heidi, was someone I was really close to. She was a mentor to me, someone I looked up to deeply. She passed away in 2013.

So when I find myself thinking about them now, it’s not simple.

It’s not just “an ex.”

It’s grief.
It’s memory.
It’s connection that didn’t fully close.

And for a long time, I didn’t really know what to do with those thoughts when they came up.

But lately, I’ve been looking at it a little differently.

Instead of asking:

“Why am I still thinking about this?”

I’ve been asking:

“What is this trying to show me?”

Because sometimes… those thoughts aren’t random.

Sometimes they’re tied to something deeper.

A feeling you haven’t fully processed.
A version of yourself you’re reconnecting with.
A reminder of love, pain, growth — all of it intertwined.

And for me personally, I’ve started to notice something else.

When I think about JT and Heidi now, it doesn’t feel heavy in the same way it used to.

It feels… different.

Quieter.
More peaceful.
Almost like a presence instead of a memory.

And whether you believe in spirit, energy, or something else entirely — what I’ve come to trust is this:

We don’t always lose connection in the way we think we do.

Sometimes it just changes form.

For me, that’s meant allowing myself to feel like they’re still guiding me in small ways.

Through signs.
Through moments of intuition.
Through that quiet inner knowing that’s been getting stronger lately.

And I don’t force it.

I don’t try to explain it perfectly.

I just notice it.

Because at the end of the day, whether it’s intuition, memory, or something more…

those moments are meaningful.

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A Gentle Reflection for This Week

If someone from your past has been on your mind lately — an ex, a friend, a loved one — pause before you brush it off.

Instead of asking:

“Why am I still thinking about this?”

Try asking:

“What might this be bringing up for me?”

Not to overanalyze.
Not to dig up pain unnecessarily.

Just to notice.

Sometimes there’s something there worth listening to.

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Not everything needs to be fully understood.

But some things are worth feeling.

And sometimes, those quiet thoughts we can’t explain…

are actually guiding us back to ourselves.

With care,
Emily 🌿

P.S. If this email made you think of someone, feel free to pass it along. This space is for anyone learning, healing, unlearning, growing — all of it is welcome here 🤍

If you’re craving more support around people-pleasing, gratitude, boundaries, and all the “being human” stuff… come join the Facebook page Rooted in Luck Co. It’s where I share extra guidance, grounding practices, and weekly reflections.