Welcome Reader!

I’ve been listening (and re-listening) to The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. Every time I hear it, I pick up something new — or I start to understand the philosophy on a deeper level.

One of the points that has been revolutionary for me comes from Adlerian psychology, explained in The Courage to Be Disliked: all problems are interpersonal problems.

At first, that sounded a little extreme to me, but the more I’ve sat with it, the more I see the truth in it. Adler believed that as humans, we all have a deep desire to belong and to feel significant. So when something feels like a “problem,” it’s usually because it touches how we see ourselves in relation to others. Think about it:

• Feeling “less than” → comes from comparison.
• Anxiety about speaking up → comes from fear of others’ opinions.
• Loneliness → comes from the ache of feeling excluded or unseen.

Even our inner conflicts are often just us becoming our own adversary, disapproving of ourselves the way we fear others might.

Here’s what shifted everything for me: now, whenever I feel triggered by something, I try to see it as a golden opportunity. Instead of reacting, I pause and ask why it bothered me. Not to judge myself or shame my past self, but to love the part of me that was once hurt, misunderstood, or neglected — and to finally release it.

Michael A. Singer (another author I adore) has a word for these triggers: samskaras. They’re like old emotional scars, pockets of stored pain from the past. When life bumps into them, all the feelings — shame, fear, guilt, sadness — come rushing back. And in that moment, we have a choice:

• We can relax into it, feel it, and let it move through us.
• Or we can shove it down, only for it to pop up later — usually stronger than before.

I won’t sugarcoat it — facing those feelings can be scary. But it’s also freeing. And the truth is, you don’t have to do it alone Reader. We’re all going through life for the very first time. There’s no rulebook, no perfect way to get it “right.” Which means the best thing we can do is lean on one another and walk through it together.

Your Gratitude Practice This Week​
• Think of a moment recently when you felt “triggered” or unsettled by someone’s words or actions.
• Instead of brushing it off, pause and gently ask yourself: What old wound or story might this be bumping up against?​
• Place a hand on your heart and thank that part of yourself for protecting you, for doing the best it knew how at the time.
— Then write down or take a moment to think about three ways that trigger has shaped you for the better — maybe it taught you compassion, resilience, or the courage to heal.

Gratitude doesn’t erase the sting, but it transforms the moment into a chance to release what no longer serves you — and to love yourself a little more deeply.

With gratitude and love,

Emily